Buy a car
Both of my children were slow to drive—I really pushed them to move through the anxieties about driving, and I loved being the calm voice of reason and problem-solving (while occasionally swearing and putting my hands over my head in terror). For both kids, I shopped for Craigslist used cars with their money, talking them through the basics (“a year of use for every thousand dollars, best case scenario,” and “if the seller has thorough maintenance records in hand, that’s the kind of person we want to buy from”). Both paid for cars before they had their license finalized, and the car itself provided the incentive to finish the process. I’m deeply grateful for the adult-time logged in these very adult steps toward independence. I’m also deeply grateful that my husband and I were able to work out those kids’ rides to work for the two years before those cars were bought—not every kid has access to good, paying jobs in high school. Raising teens means getting to know them all over again on a month-to-month basis. Even after the purchases, I’ve ridden along for the first meeting with a mechanic, coaching them through the basic scripts. I was a miserable and clueless teenager without a driver’s license ‘til I was 25. These two kids are capable adults, hungry for independence.
Denise H, Ipswich, MA
Go Fly A Kite
Leif Enger, author of one of my favorite books of all time, offers a compelling case for not only knowing how to make your own kite, but keeping one in the trunk of your car so you’re ready to fly when the conditions are right. The first kites my boys and I built don’t have the sturdiness of the serious builders, but I got hold of the “Kite Bible” and aim to give it another go.
Tony W, Oak Ridge, NC
Learn to Drive in the Snow
When I was sixteen, my father took me to a big, vacant, snow-covered parking lot. He demonstrated what happens when you lose traction and how to correct it. Then, the best part, he turned me loose and let me do donuts in the parking lot. For those who have not driven a rear-wheel drive vehicle in slippery conditions, the back end of the car slides outward when you lose control. You can actually make a car do a 360-degree spin which is great fun in an open parking lot, but not so fun on a busy road! This isn’t something that you want to leave to chance that your young driver will figure out for themselves. It needs to be practiced! After several such sessions with my father (and several more joy rides with my friends in the same parking lot) I became very proficient at managing the car when it begins to lose traction. The development of front-wheel drive and anti-lock brakes have made this exercise much less fun than it was in the “old days” but it hasn’t eliminated the need for such sessions. Over the years, these skills have saved serious fender-benders or worse on numerous occasions.
Greg K, Greensboro, NC
Make Supply Bags for Homeless People
As the cold weather approaches, we take our kids shopping. First we buy a bunch of nylon bags, the kind with a string tie you can cinch up and carry easily. Then we buy winter gloves, hand warmers, wool hats, scarves, water bottles, energy bars, gum, candy, and gift cards for fast food places like McDonalds. We buy the candy because, as any recovering alcoholic will tell you, sugar is what you crave when you can’t have a drink. We buy the McDonalds cards because you can purchase a cup of coffee and sit for a couple of hours in a warm place when it’s cold outside. We distribute all these items into the nylon bags. Then we put the packed bags in boxes, and keep a box in each vehicle we drive. When we see a homeless person, we stop and give him a nylon bag. If we have time we talk with him for a minute. We put a hand on his shoulder, even pray for him if he’s willing. Our kids are solemn as we do this. They, like us, aren’t thinking about themselves in these moments. And it makes eyes light up, sometimes, among folks living on the streets, to see that someone cares about them.
Tony W, Oak Ridge, NC